


Lips Like Sugar

by twoturtlesinabathtub



Category: Fire Emblem Series, Fire Emblem: Kakusei | Fire Emblem: Awakening
Genre: F/M, Gaius is a dork, Language
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-07
Updated: 2017-06-07
Packaged: 2018-11-10 03:57:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,077
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11119434
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/twoturtlesinabathtub/pseuds/twoturtlesinabathtub
Summary: Anna sells Gaius a new product that's just too tempting to resist.





	Lips Like Sugar

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Thehallowedtimeofnight](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Thehallowedtimeofnight/gifts).



> This idea was born when I was listening to the song "Lips Like Sugar" by Echo & the Bunnymen. Gaius is my wonderful cousin's Awakening hubby, so this is for her. Thanks for putting up with my constant ranting about this franchise, Ray!

 

 

 

 

"Gaius." 

"..."

"Gaius?"

"..." 

" _Honey_!" That nickname never failed to get his attention.

" _GWAH_!" the thief yelped with a jump. Robin could've sworn he flew at least a foot in the air; the ginger was probably all hopped up on bonbons again.

She stared at him in concern, arms crossed. "You've been staring into space for a couple of minutes—that same look you get whenever you see a beehive. What's wrong?"

Gaius blinked rapidly. "O-oh, was I? Didn't notice. I was, er, thinking about...strategy! Yeah, that's right."

Robin lofted a disbelieving brow. "That doesn't sound like you." 

"What can I say, Bubbles? I'm full of surprises." 

"Mm-hm, okay. Well, while you were 'thinking about strategy', I was trying to ask if you'd come help me make a provisions run into town." 

"Anything for you, babe." He gave her a smooch and grabbed her hand. "Let's go get the...stuff."

They'd walked about ten paces when Gaius suddenly blurted, "I totally wasn't thinking about covering you in icing and licking it all off. Nope. Not at all."

* * *

Gaius got lost a lot. He meandered through the dirt and cobbled paths like a street cat, scoping out hidey-holes and shaded corners, seeing which merchants sold what. He hadn't really meant to get separated from Robin, but was pretty sure he knew which store she was visiting, just in case. 

At the edge of town, he spotted a colorful banner decorating a storefront. It looked like it had been thrown up in a bit of a hurry, but the shop was absolutely packed with customers. Gaius's curiosity got the better of him, and the thief quickly slipped inside. He felt his fingers twitch reflexively. Crowds were a good thing in his line of work; they meant easier pickpocketing, having a better chance of nicking something from a store shelf without being caught, and a decent way to escape pursuers in a pinch. 

Gaius had to repress those urges, though—he was a Shepherd and a married man, a real upstanding gent, you know. Wouldn't do for the spouse of Chrom's most trusted adviser to get nabbed over some petty theft; Robin would confiscate his sucker stash in the time it would take for him to say, "Well, shit." 

He stood on his toes, craning his neck to see over the bodies blocking the merchant's counter at the back. He could hear a chipper woman's voice lauding the rarity and value of some item or other to an unsuspecting customer. Gaius thought he recognized her sly tone, and when he saw a flash of flaming hair as the crowd parted, he was certain. 

Gods, it was that Anna woman. She was almost as crafty as he was, something that he liked (and feared) about her. After finishing with the client at the counter, her eyes scanned the shop and landed on him. For some reason, they glinted like coins when they made contact with his; Gaius shivered. 

"Hey," she called loudly, "fancy seeing you here!" 

Gaius, ever wary, strolled up to the counter with his hands in his pockets. "Red," he greeted. "So, what is it you're gonna try to shove onto me this time?" 

"'Shove onto' you? Why, whatever do you mean?" Anna batted her eyelashes innocently. 

Gaius rolled his eyes, not buying it for a second. Literally. "You know what I mean. What do you want? Or, in other words, what do you think _I_  want?" 

She smiled hugely. "As a matter of fact, I did recently acquire a product which may pique your interest! Wait right here." She vanished into a small room behind the counter, from which issued several alarming banging noises as she rummaged about. 

Gaius waited reluctantly, frowning. "Unless you've got, like, Feroxi rock candy or something of that caliber, I really don't think I'll care," he called. He shouldn't have gotten his hopes up, but still felt a little thrill of anticipation run through him at the possibilities of what she might have. 

Anna reappeared a moment later, a bit breathless. "Sorry for the wait—it was up on a high shelf. Anyway, here it is!" She slid a small metal tin across the counter. 

Gaius read the label on top of it and blinked a couple of times. "Huh." He paused for a moment. "Look, I know I've got pale, supple skin and silky hair, but you _do_  know that I'm a man, right?"

She laughed. "Of course I do! I'm suggesting that this would make a great gift for Robin." 

"Why? She's not really into ultra-feminine stuff."

"Are you sure?" she asked, tapping her lip with a finger. "I've given her a few samples of some facial cream before, and she really seemed to enjoy it."

"Oh. Didn't know that." 

The merchant leaned against the counter. "Look, I know we're in a war, and luxuries are hard to come by. That's why you should take advantage of finding them whenever you can!" 

"You just said it—we're at war. In case you haven't noticed, spare gold is an endangered species right now." 

She fixed him with a deadpan look. "Then how are you always getting more candy?" 

"Hey, I'll have you know that I make most of it myself!" Gaius shot back defensively. 

She backed off a little. "Okay, I'll grant you that. But I know you must have _some_  to spare. I mean, I don't understand how you Shepherds manage to pry bullion from those slimy Risen corpses, but hey, it means more money in both of our pockets, am I right?" She winked. "I'm sure you can afford this, my friend." She slid the little tin closer to him. 

"Yeah?" Gaius picked it up and peered at the price scribbled on the bottom. _Naga's sake...._  "For something this puny? Nope. There's no way I'm paying that." He tossed it softly back onto the counter, making to turn and leave. 

"Hold on, hold on," said Anna, putting up her hands in reconciliation. "I'm sure we can work something out where you end up leaving satisfied." 

Gaius raised an eyebrow and gave his lollipop a crunch. "Only if you're okay with me stealin' it." 

She bristled at the insinuation, but then her grin was back in a flash. "I haven't told you how it'll benefit _you_ ," she replied. 

Gaius's brow scrunched up. "I don't follow."

"Shocker," Anna muttered under her breath, though Gaius may have misheard. He listened halfheartedly to her at first, but grew more and more interested as she elaborated. Oh, hell, she'd meant to do this all along: show him further perks after he'd seen the price in order to increase his interest, in the hope that said interest would overcome cost concerns. Damn. He could resist this. He _would_  resist this. He was going to march out that door and— 

"Ugh, fine, I'll take it." He tossed some coins onto the counter, which Anna snatched up immediately. 

"It's all yours! Make sure to come back soon!" The smile she gave him was blinding. 

Gaius squinted at her with a grimace. "You win this time, Red. But next time, it'll be different."

As soon as the ginger thief was out of earshot, Anna snorted while sorting out his coins. "Not likely, rookie."

* * *

 Gaius opened the tin as he walked back to the shop where Robin was. Oh. _Ohhh_. It smelled like strawberries. He sniffed at it like an excited puppy, then dipped in a finger to taste just the slightest bit. It tasted like strawberries, too. Best. Purchase. Ever.

 He pocketed it hastily when his wife came into view. "Robin!" he called.

 She looked up and found him in the crowd. "Where have you been?" she asked him a little crossly. 

 Gaius immediately understood her annoyance when he noticed the large pile of parcels at her feet. He winced. "Sorry, sorry! I got lost again. But I got you something to make up for it." He pulled the gift out of his pocket and held it up before her with a flourish. "Ta-da!" 

She leaned forward, squinting to read the label. "You got me...lip balm?" 

"Yep. I figured I owed you somethin' nice for putting up with me all the time." 

"How much did it cost?" she asked suspiciously. 

Gaius had been smart enough to rub the price off where it had been written. If Robin knew what he'd paid for it, she would flip. "Oh, not much," he blustered, "it was practically a steal. Anna gave me a good deal." 

Robin gave him a skeptical look, hands on her hips. "Uh-huh, sure. Okay, so why did you get me lip balm? I think I still have a little left." 

"But this kind is special! Look," Gaius countered. He popped its top and Robin peered inside. 

"It looks...gritty," she said. 

He nodded enthusiastically. "Exactly. It has raw sugar mixed in with it." 

"Sugar? Why?"

Gaius's grin turned sly. "It's supposed to...what was the word? 'Exterminate'? 'Expatriate'?" He bit his lip as he thought. "Oh! 'Exfoliate'!" he finally exclaimed. "Yeah, Anna said it'll make your lips softer and remove the dry skin. I just thought you might like it. Nobody likes having chapped lips, right?" 

Robin nodded with a smirk. "I guess you would know." 

"Aw, c'mon, mine aren't that bad."

She chuckled. "I know, I know, just kidding. Well, if you're dead-set on giving this to me, I'd be happy to accept it." She held out her hand and Gaius dropped the lip balm into it. "Thanks." She stood on her toes and gave him a quick peck. 

Gaius dearly wished she'd applied some of the balm before she'd kissed him. Guess he just had to be patient. "My pleasure, baby. Now let's get back to camp."

* * *

"Man, I'm bushed," Robin sighed as she untied the strings holding the door flaps of her and Gaius's tent closed. She shucked her coat and kicked off her boots, then fell face-up on their bed. Scouting the trail ahead with Frederick and Stahl had really taken it out of her. Hopefully, she'd be able to sneak in a quick snooze before dinner. Her eyes slipped closed almost immediately. 

It seemed like mere seconds later that Robin felt thin, nimble fingers gently tracing her face. She opened her eyes with a grunt and looked up into Gaius's green ones. "C'mon, Rob," he murmured, "dinnertime. You don't wanna miss it—Gregor and Cordelia were on kitchen duty." 

She sat up with a yawn. "'Kay, lead the way." 

Dinner was a noisy affair: Sully and Vaike were arguing about something or other on one side of the campfire, while birds appeared from nowhere and flocked to Henry, the sorcerer cackling with glee as they chirped and cawed and tried to perch all over him. None of this, however, was making Robin any less drowsy. If it were possible to feel any more dead than she did, she would have to be a Risen. Gaius seemed to notice, because he softly nudged her with his shoulder. "You doin' okay?" he asked. She just nodded tiredly and finished her bread. 

The couple went back to their tent the moment they were finished eating and changed into their sleeping clothes. When Robin went to drape her coat over a chair, however, she felt something small and hard in one of the pockets. Oh, right. The lip balm Gaius was kind enough to buy her a few days ago. A small pang went through her as she realized that she'd completely forgotten about it, despite the fact that Gaius had been so excited to give it to her. 

So, before she climbed into bed, she applied the gritty—but actually pretty tasty—balm and rubbed her lips together. It was scratchy, but she could already tell that it would do its job effectively. She slipped underneath the blankets with a happy little sigh, eager to fall into blessed unconsciousness. 

Gaius, sans shirt, was crouched on the other side of the tent as he rummaged for his night shirt. All of a sudden, he whipped his head around to look at her with enormous eyes. The thief literally sniffed at the air like a bloodhound, and then a huge grin practically split his face in two. "Finally," he cried, jumping to his feet. He pounced on top of Robin, who couldn't for the life of her tell what was going on. 

Her confusion only worsened when her husband kissed her, hard and deep, and he let out a satisfied little groan. "Gods," he panted between frantic kisses, "that took _forever_ , you tease. Did you plan on getting me so worked up like this?" 

If Robin had been tired before this, she sure as hell couldn't be now, what with the way Gaius was throwing himself at her bare-chested and pulling down the blankets and alternately stroking her cheeks and sides. Her hands found their way into his hair and twisted, and he let out another moan as he bit her bottom lip. Robin didn't know what had prompted such random eagerness—he was practically squirming atop her and kept licking at her mouth. She wasn't about to complain, though; after all, she'd gotten used to the man's not-insignificant oral fixation. 

After what seemed like a long, long time, Gaius pulled back with an appeased little grin on his face. "Mmm, you're the best, baby," he murmured, giving one last kiss to the tip of her nose. He rolled over to snuff the lantern next to their bed, then covered them back up with the blanket. "Sweet dreams, Bubbles," he muttered, curling up against Robin. 

The tactician just stared at the ceiling of their tent in utter bewilderment. What was that all about? Oh, well, it wasn't worth worrying about right that second. She yawned hugely and snuggled deeper into the blankets. 

Just before she dropped off, she noted absently that all of her lip balm had come off.

* * *

This was just getting to be ridiculous. 

Every time, _every time_  Robin had a spare moment—after finishing a meeting, or completing her chores, even when she woke up in the morning and went to bed at night—Gaius tracked her down and commenced some of the hottest make-out sessions they'd ever had. 

After one such...meeting, Vaike looked at Robin in puzzlement as everyone was gearing up for Frederick's Fanatical Fitness Hour. "Jeez, Robin," he remarked with his usual lack of tact, "who'd ya piss off? It looks like someone punched ya in the mouth!" Robin's face flushed bright red and she couldn't make eye contact with the man for several days. 

She couldn't figure out why Gaius had made the sudden change. What had brought on his sudden spike in affection? Sure, the ginger was a touchy man by nature, thanks to his wandering hands. This went far, far beyond that, though. Was there a specific catalyst that had made him go insane?

Robin eventually made the connection when she was pondering why the hell her husband kept stealing glances at her mouth as they took inventory of a supply tent. "What is it?" she asked him point-blank. "Do I have something on my face?"

"Uh, well..." Gaius scratched the back of his neck and slowly made his way over to her. "You've got a little somethin' in the corner of your mouth." He swiped one of his thumbs at the edge of her lips, then promptly sucked the digit into his mouth. The blissful expression that blossomed on his face was practically orgasmic.

"What the—" Robin started, but didn't finish. When Gaius had wiped off whatever had been on her face, it'd felt sort of scratchy. Oh, gods. It was that damned lip balm! She suddenly shoved at his chest, knocking him a couple steps back from her. "What the fuck, Gaius?" she yelled, not caring if anyone outside heard her. "Are you serious? Have you really been making out with me every hour of the day because of _lip balm_? Are you an idiot?" 

"I-it's not my fault!" he stuttered in his defense. "Anna pointed it out to me. She's too good a salesman to resist. You can't blame me for falling under her evil spell—if anything, _I'm_  the victim here!" 

"How in the seven hells does that make sense?" Robin argued with clenched fists. " _You_  were the one who bought it, and _you're_  the one who's been making my life some sort of weird semi-public sex show for the past week!"  

Gaius spluttered, looking totally lost. "Why are you so mad at me?" he cried, throwing up his hands in frustration. Robin stopped glaring at him and turned her gaze to the ground instead, folding her arms and hunching her shoulders. "I didn't think you'd get so pissed off at me kissing my wife! What's up with that?" 

When next she spoke, her words were slow. "I just...I just feel like an idiot for thinking that you might just want to kiss me so much for no reason," she said quietly.

 Gaius's stomach dropped. Shit, now he felt guilty. He sighed and ran a hand through his hair. "That's what this is all about?" he asked. She nodded. "Oh, baby. C'mere, c'mere." He gathered her in his arms and squeezed her tightly. "I'm real sorry I made you feel like I was using you or something. I didn't mean to do that."

 "Really?" She looked up at him, her brow furrowed in skepticism.

 "Cross my heart," he replied. "But yeah, I'll admit it: it started out as a way to get some extra sugar. Then I was reminded of how much I like to kiss you. I just can't get enough of ya, Bubbles." He leaned down to kiss her for what was probably the sixtieth time that week, but she put her hand over his lips to stop him.

 "Promise?" she asked. Gaius nodded solemnly. She took her hand away from his mouth, then surged up to kiss him. His eyes widened in surprise, but he returned it with plenty of enthusiasm all the same. Robin pulled away and gave her doofus of a husband a little smirk. "In that case, how about we go back to our tent so you can show me how much you 'can't get enough' of me?"

 Gaius licked his lips, eyes narrowing mischievously as he leaned closer. "I like the way your mind works, sweetheart."

**Author's Note:**

> [sighs] They're both such goobers.


End file.
